


When We Were Young and Naive

by ByAStream



Category: Black Widow (Movie 2020), Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Men's Hockey RPF, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Character Death, F/F, Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-24
Updated: 2020-08-24
Packaged: 2021-03-06 18:35:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,386
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26093467
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ByAStream/pseuds/ByAStream
Summary: A death brings you back to the town you’d left behind after high school, reminders of a love past surrounding you.
Relationships: Bucky Barnes & Reader, Clint Barton & Reader, Natasha Romanov (Marvel)/Reader, Pepper Potts/Tony Stark, Sidney Crosby & Reader
Kudos: 21





	When We Were Young and Naive

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on tumblr: jbbarnesnnoble.tumblr.com
> 
> Features/Warnings: Angst. Sadness. Major Character Death; Mentions of Real People in a Fictitious capacity (several Pittsburgh Penguins players; Modern!AU

You never thought you’d be back in the small one stop sign town you’d grown up in. Getting out had been your only goal when you were a kid. College was your freedom. Most people stayed local. Tony Stark was the only other one who went away, but even he returned home. His family had an attachment to the small town, no matter how wealthy they were. 

You were one of the few who had gotten out and planned to stay out. But then your mother called. It had been years since you spoke to Natasha, to any of your friends. You’d been best friends growing up, until you said you were moving across the country. There had been a big blowup at the Rogers’. You had kept your college decision to yourself until graduation. 

_ “Weird to think we’ll be at college in the fall,” Natasha said as the two of you laid on the hammock in the Rogers’ back yard. Steve was cozied up with Sharon Carter, Bucky was trying and failing to impress Wanda Maximoff while Sam watched and laughed. Clint was sitting on the side of the swimming pool, watching a game of chicken going on. Maria Hill on the shoulders of Carol Danvers, facing off against Pepper Potts and Tony Stark.  _

_ “Yeah,” you said, your voice quiet. You still hadn’t told her you didn’t commit to the local university. It was a good school, but it wasn’t your dream school. You’d applied to a few other places and got in. Pittsburgh was calling your name.  _

_ “Did you put in your roommate request yet? I got mine today,” she said. You sat up and Nat looked at you with concern. _

_ “I’m not going,” you said. She frowned. _

_ “You’re not going to college? Bug, you always said you were going to go to college,” she said. Bug, short of Lightning Bug, born of your love of the summertime insect.  _

_ “I didn’t say I’m not going. I’m not going to the U,” you said.  _

_ “When were you going to tell me? Where are you going?” she asked. You sighed. _

_ “I didn’t know how. You were so excited when I got my letter. I’m going to Pittsburgh, Natasha,” you said. She nodded. _

_ “We can work with that. It’s not that far, it’s six hours by car, an hour flight. You’ll be home for vacations. Nothing has to change,” she said. You and Natasha were more than friends. You were high school sweethearts. And here you were, about to break her heart.  _

_ “Natasha,” you said softly. _

_ “Oh my god. You’re breaking up with me, aren’t you?” she asked, her voice cracking. _

_ “I...Tasha...it’s not fair to you. I love you. But sometimes, you have to let the people you love go,” you said, standing up.  _

_ “You’re such a bitch, you know that? We’ve been together for four years and you’re just what? Throwing it away because we’re going to be long distance? You hid this from me. What else are you hiding?” she yelled. You felt tears stinging your eyes. Natasha looked at you with an anger and hurt you’d never seen on her face. Your shoulders slumped.  _

_ “I should go,” you said, looking away from her. Everyone was staring. You grabbed your bag and headed to your car. No one stopped you.  _

_ You spent the rest of the summer with your cousin, a distant relation, out by Pittsburgh, after packing up your things for college sooner than you expected. Your parents drove out to move you in.  _

You hadn’t been back since then, not even for holidays. You were effectively cast out. It wasn’t so much that you’d gone to Pittsburgh, it was that you’d hurt Natasha. You’d lied to them all. Your friends couldn’t understand your decision making. You glanced at the person in the driver’s seat. 

You had started out working for the Penguins as an intern, working your way to a permanent position by the time you graduated. The organization really was like family, and like family, they weren’t letting you face this alone. Sidney had volunteered to go with you. Geno and Tanger had all but talked you into letting him. 

“You good?” Sid asked. You nodded.

“I haven’t been here since...the last time anyone saw me, Natasha and I broke up. And I ran. That was...like six years ago...and now,” you said your voice trailing off.

“You’re here for her funeral,” he said.

“I’m not ready for this, Sid,” you said.

“No one ever is, kiddo. Come on, your mom’s been staring at the car out the window for ten minutes now. It’s now or never,” he said. You sighed and undid your seatbelt. Sid had insisted on driving. You were grateful for that. The Barton’s house next door seemed to have an endless stream of people. They’d adopted Nat when you were children. You could feel the stares as you got out of the car, hear the whispers.

“She’s got nerve coming here and bringing a guy with her,” you heard Sam say. You sighed. You knew forgiveness wouldn’t be found.

It had been an accident. You weren’t fully aware of the details, you knew enough to know it had been bad. 

“How are you holding up, sweetie?” your mom asked, pulling you into a hug when you got inside.

“Fine, mom. Just...shocked,” you said. 

“Bucky was asking if you’d be coming home,” she said. You snorted.

“Sure he did. Just like the rest of them are looking to welcome me with open arms,” you said. 

“Sweetheart...they’re hurting too. They lost a friend, a sister,” she said. 

“Yeah. I know,” you said, sitting down on the couch. You couldn’t bring yourself to go to the Barton’s, not yet. 

“I know you don’t like talking about it, but you’re going to have to eventually. Natasha would come here daily that summer, asking if you were coming home. You stopped answering texts from your friends. I don’t understand,” she said.

“They chose sides, mom. They made their choice when they didn’t have to,” you said. 

“Did they? Or did you shut everyone out? Steve said he tried calling you right after the accident to tell you Natasha was in the hospital but you blocked his number. Clint said after you left town you weren’t answering anyone,” she said. You shook your head. You didn’t think she’d ever understand. 

“I should go over,” you said, standing up. Sidney was your ever present shadow. You felt the stares as you entered the Barton’s house, the door open. Clint sat on the couch, a blank stare, his parents talking to Mrs. Barnes. 

“You came,” was all Clint said before standing up and pulling you into a hug. After hearing Sam’s comment outside, you weren’t sure what kind of reception you’d get. 

“Of course I did,” you said, hugging him tighter. You felt him shake with the force of his sob. For the first time since you got the news, you let yourself cry too. The two of you sunk to the floor, holding on to one another. 

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” you said. You weren’t sure if you were saying sorry for his loss or for the years that had passed since you’d set foot in town. You lost track of time as the two of you sat there, holding on to one another. Clint knew. He knew the one thing no one else did.

_ “Tash, we’re gonna get caught if you come on another trip so soon,” you said, a giggle threatening to erupt as you spoke to Natasha over video chat. It had been two years since you left town, a year since you reconciled. You both agreed to keep it quiet. At first it was because your friends were still angry with you for how you’d walked away. Then it became nice having something that was just for the two of you. She knew you had blocked their numbers. You weren’t ready to mend those fences. Not when the immediate aftermath had been so bad.  _

_ “Would it be so bad if we did?” she asked. You sighed. _

_ “You think they’re ready for the truth? That their Bug wants to steal you away to the big city?” you teased. _

_ “I love you, you know that?” she asked. _

_ “Nat? Who are you talking to?” you heard Clint ask in the background. You fumbled with your phone as he came into frame. You were so busted when he saw you. _

_ “Since when are you two talk...you two are back together aren’t you? Since when? I have to go tell everyone,” Clint said. Natasha set her phone down before going to jump on her brother’s back. You laughed as you heard their antics.  _

_ “Clint said he’ll keep our secret,” she said with a laugh.  _

You knew the hometown crew knew Nat had been seeing someone for some time. She’d been cagey when it came to spilling the details. At this point, it was down to you being ready to come back into their lives, ready to reconcile with your past and make amends. Five years of keeping secrets. A box was heavy in your pocket. One you’d been carrying for weeks. You knew Clint felt it.

“You brought it,” he said. You nodded.

“It’s hers. It will always be hers,” you said, your voice raw from crying. 

You knew the others had come in. Bucky was the first to piece things together. Clint had left a photo album open on the coffee table, one Natasha had put together of photos of the two of you from the past five years.

“How long?” Bucky asked.

“We made up by the end of summer. Took a break for the year,” you said. 

“Why didn’t you tell us?” he asked. 

“It was a funny game at first. Seeing if any of you would figure it out. I was still mad at how you all reacted. And then it just became a matter of enjoying having it be us, just us. I wish I had a better explanation but I don’t,” you explained. You weren’t expecting the hug from him once you and Clint stood. 

You weren’t sure you were ready when it came time for the funeral a few days later. You had slipped the ring box in the casket when you were given a moment to privately say your goodbyes to her. You weren’t ready to say goodbye. You were lost in a memory, the last time she’d made the trek to Pittsburgh. The two of you had finally settled on a house you liked and put in an offer. It had only been a few weeks before. You were lucky to be in a place where you could get a house, thanks to your job and hers. 

“ _ It’s perfect,” Natasha said as the two of you did one last walk through before finalizing your offer on the house.  _

_ “I can’t wait. Maybe it’s time to finally come clean,” you said. _

_ “They’re going to be so mad...but I think they’ll get over it,” she said with a laugh.  _

_ “They can consider it payback for the last prank they pulled. We just...played the long con,” you joked. She pulled you into a kiss before spinning you around, dancing with no music playing in what would be your living room.  _

_ “My wife, becoming a PR boss in the sports world,” she teased. _

_ “We’ll need to get married first, Tasha,” you said.  _

_ “And we will,” she said with a wink. You pulled her close, feeling her relax into your embrace. This was the dream. Life, you thought, would never get better than holding Natasha Romanoff in your arms. She was your forever, of that much you were sure. _

“This seat taken?” Bucky asked. You were alone in the funeral home. It was still early. The Bartons had taken their time earlier, giving you yours. 

“No,” you said.

“We knew, you know. Tasha was good at keeping secrets, but Clint’s shit at keeping them,” he said. You laughed.

“Then why did Sam make a snarky comment about me bringing Sid?” you asked. Bucky gave you a look.

“It’s Sam. I think he’s hurt that neither of you trusted him enough to tell him. But you told Clint,” he said. You laughed.

“In all fairness, Clint found out accidentally,” you said. 

“We missed you, Bug. I hate that it took this to bring you home,” he said. 

“We were planning...I was coming to town in a couple weeks. We bought a house. Out in Pittsburgh. I know she mentioned she had found a job in a new city, that she’d be able to spend summers out here. That she and her mystery partner were taking that step. I bought a ring. I was going to propose down by the creek, you know the spot,” you told him. He nodded, a fond smile on his face. The creek was a spot your group had spent many summer days and nights at. As children playing hide and seek in the day, manhunt at night. As teenagers, stealing beer from your parents and spending nights by the fire, hanging out. The creek was your spot on the edge of the Barnes’ property. 

“Bet you had a whole plan, Bug,” he said. You nodded.

“I did,” you said. 

“So, why did you bring that guy?” he asked. You laughed a little.

“The team is like a family. They played rock, paper, scissors. Sid won. They...they didn’t want me to travel alone,” you explained. The rest of the day was a blur, from the services at the funeral home, to the burial at the cemetery on the edge of town. Saying goodbye wasn’t easy. 

But in saying goodbye, you found yourself at home again, surrounded by old friends, family. The light in the dark. It had rained most of the day until the procession made it to the cemetery. The sun broke through long enough to shine on the plot, to shine on you, wrapping you in a warm embrace. You swore you could smell her perfume faintly in the wind as the sun was once more hidden behind the clouds as you laid a flower on the casket. You knew things would be okay, eventually. 


End file.
